It's been over one full year since I last blogged. A lot has happened in that year. I started my first "real job" in a corporate setting. I traveled around the country a bit, started a new work-out/health regimen, and got engaged to the man of my dreams. Overall, I'd say it's been a pretty good year since I last posted and I have the intentions of continuing this streak of sweet stuff.
By the way, who made the notion of what a "real job" is supposed to be? Just 53 short weeks ago I was baffled by the fact that I, a girl with no previous connections or experience, landed a job in the creme de la creme of the communications industry. Seriously, it made me feel like a total bad ass and put a little chip on my shoulder. The days and weeks are long and stressful, but it does feel good to fly business class across the country and back. The highs are real high, with the lows being real low. I've been praised and congratulated by corporate executives while being chewed up and spit out all at the same time. And yet for some reason while I balance my daily work routine of meeting deadlines and working my tail off to produce promotional quality work, I always end my day with this thought: I miss my old job.
Not my old marketing coordinator or client relations project manager. Not my restaurant days when I came home with tips overflowing my pockets. What I really miss is being a summer camp counselor. I've really came to the conclusion that that job felt the most "real" to me. Call me crazy, immature, ungrateful, whatever. All I know is that I miss the days of mentoring, being the peace-maker, lunch monitor and dodge ball referee of 6-14 year old kids. Sure, it may have not been "professional" or "ambitious" but it was real to me. I long for the days of leaving the park at 4pm, sweaty and exhausted from the sun and thankful I didn't have a puker or crier that day.
But what I really miss the most is feeling inspired. Knowing that it was a definite possibility that I'll be forever etched into the minds and memories of some of those kids, just like how summer camp or elementary teachers are still in my memories today...I can't even begin to explain the feeling I get on the inside. Inspiring, empowering...amazing. Sure, being a camp counselor doesn't come close to a fraction of being intellectually stimulating or bare the weight of responsibility I feel as a young adult in the corporate world. But I wouldn't call it a piece of cake either. I'm surrounded by people who don't know how to be good with kids or would absolutely flip their shit of dealing with screaming kids for 35 hours a week. Working with kids is a total contribution to society in every way shape and form because it's your influence that determines how their day will go. Now tell me how being a camp counselor is not real?
So, what I've really learned in the past 53 weeks is that I don't owe any explanations or have to feel bad that I pretty much am over the perception of a "real job" or "professional". I feel bad for the people who haven't experienced the feelings that I long for today, they really missed out.
And while I work towards planning my wedding and experiencing all the good things life has to offer, I'm also going to work towards getting those feelings back.
Stay tuned to follow my journey.
SB
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